Success! "The Wrong Side of the Rainbow" accepted!

Many know the story so far. I originally wrote "The Wrong Side of the Rainbow", a detective story featuring Ramses II and Bernie Clayberg for an anthology that was to be published by The Library of Horror Press. Last year in a surprise move they decided to kill all of their anthologies and concentrate solely on novels. All rights were released back to the authors.

I was very disappointed at the time. I love these two characters. Ramses II, a centuries old pharaoh and self-made living god now mummy, and Bernie Clayberg, a golem made by a team of artisans and mystics. Together they solve mysteries for MCSI, Mythical Crime Scene Investigations. Theirs is a world were mythology sidesteps into ours, the two coexisting, mixing, and oft time clashing. Whenever there is a crime involving mythics, MCSI is called in.

The search for a new publisher began anew. Yesterday it ended. The wonderfully named Rampant Loon Press has happily accepted "The Wrong Side of the Rainbow" and it will appear in a future volume of the ongoing series anthology Stupefying Stories. Ramses and Bernie live!

And this may be just the beginning. When I thanked them and said I had planned a series of stories, perhaps a novel based on these characters, Bruce Bethke, editor of Stupefying Stories, said to send them his way.

I'll be sure to post when "The Wrong Side of the Rainbow" will appear, but in the meantime check out Stupefying Stories and show them some love. And as always, thanks for reading me.

http://www.StupefyingStories.com
http://www.facebook.com/StupefyingStories

When Superheroes Are An Architect's Best Friend

Ah, the summer disaster movie season is upon us. According to the latest box office reports I just may one of the few people in the entire world who has still has a pulse and has not yet seen "The Avengers". Let me clarify quickly that I plan to. I've been a Joss Whedon fan since Firefly which I regard as possibly the best sci fi series ever. My Star Trek fans are crying "Sacrilege!" But then he created the world of Dr Horrible. So I know "The Avengers" is good, and I will get there. Just not right now.

But I'm getting off track. Again. (Look! A puppy!)

One element that every big blockbuster action flick has is the major climactic battle between the forces of good and the evil forces of evil. "The Avengers" does not disappoint in this. Or so I'm told. In every article, or from every person I talk to. In this motion picture a good portion of New York City is destroyed. But that is just a small price in order to save the world. Or is it?

Last week The Hollywood Reporter asked that very question. They turned to a noted disaster assessment company, Kinetic Analysis Corp, to determine what exactly was the cost of the damage inflicted upon the city during the fight to save it. Their determination? $160 billion.

For context, the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks cost $83 billion, Hurricane Katrina cost $90 billion, and the tsunami in Japan last year washed away $122 billion.

Is it worth the price? I think so. I love New York, have visited there a number of times. It is vital to the strength of this country, financially and culturally. Plus I have some very good friends that live and work in the area. They alone are worth that to me.

Professionally a city with that much destruction to its buildings and infrastructure, given that the $160 billion could be found, would be a dream for architects and contractors. Think of all the work! And could we use it. According to the New York Times architecture as a profession is suffering one of the highest unemployment rates of any professional service in the country.  $160 billion would turn that around in an instant.

Where's an evil alien invasion when you need one?

(The Hollywood Reporter article and Kinetic Analysis Corp report can be read here: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/avengers-damage-manhattan-would-cost-160-billion-322486)

I wrote a short story on the theme of monster aftermath for an unfortunately defunct-before-it-was-published anthology. The story is called "Clean Up On Seventh Avenue" and features the brave men and women of MIS Disposal. It was bought, ready for print, and then the rug was pulled out from the anthology entirely. The whole mess was detailed in earlier posts on this blog.  "Clean Up On Seventh Avenue"  is now being considered by another publisher. I'll keep you posted.

To Really Know Your Characters Kill Them Off

As some of you know, and I wish more of you did and were of the purchasing kind, I like to write. I have a number of published stories, had an agent, a wine label, and even self-published an ebook, my novel for middle aged readers "Dr Zombie Lives Next Door." (Now only 99 cents.) If you follow this blog you've heard about every one of those and you'll hear every hit on my rocky road to success. I promise. Why do you think I have this blog?

But as I'm still novice, at least that's how I look at myself until I get that big time publishing contract, I am continually on the lookout for tips and tricks of the trade. I haven't found the magic formula. But I might have something that will help.

Today let's talk about characterization. How do you create a really moving and deep character for your story or novel? Stick with me and you'll learn a unique and quirky way that just might be the key.

There are hundreds of ways to develop a strong character. If you've read the magazines and books, attended the conferences, and watched the webinars, they all tell you to write your characters biography. Get to know them. Where were they born? What was their family life like? Do they have any talents? Would make anything? And on and on. I have a list of over 50 questions that I've gathered from numerous sites and classes. If you'd like to see it, drop me a line and I'll send it to you.

But everybody does it that way. What if you bored or tired of doing it that way? Want to try something new?

A few days ago I got an email from AARP, their daily news digest. (Yes, I'm a member and have been for 7 years. Do the math.) An article caught my attention. It was called "The Do-It-Yourself Obituary" by Elaine Appleton Grant.

 "When you die, what will your obituary say? Leave it to others and you might get boilerplate: cause of death, biography, survivors and where to send donations. Wouldn’t you rather have your life story told the way you’d like it?"

The basis of the article is simple. Large numbers of narcissistic Boomers can't leave their memory to chance, so they are taking care of their obituary themselves. The author of the article tells how they are doing it.

Some are hiring professional obit writers. Some are writing it themselves. They are taking classes, yes, classes in writing your own obituary.

There are even kits. The article talks about Obitkit. One workbook is $20 but if you buy 10 you get one free. Wow. The only people that might need 21 obituaries are Doctor Who or the members of an apocalyptic cult. (How fast can you write after drinking the Kool-Ade?)

All of this got me thinking. Yes, it does happen. I can apply this to my writing. Instead of writing a biography of a potential character, what if I write their obituary? I'm not talking the daily newspaper variety which gives you only a couple of brief paragraphs. That's fine for minor background characters. For your main guys and gals I'm talking the New York Times variety, feature article stuff.  It has all the pieces required of a good bio, a brief life story, survivors, with the addition of what other characters might have thought of the character.

One of the truest notion of a quality life, or lack of in some cases, is how we'll be remembered by others. Why else would so many people be wanting to write their obituary themselves? Is it to help those left behind or an attempt to rewrite history?

An obit also tells how they die. That tells a lot about a character. Is it at a ripe old age? Or is fast and young? Is it violent or from sickness? Was it expected? Don't be afraid if your character's death is a surprise in the story. Go ahead and write that obit. You know how they'll die anyway. It's no surprise to you.

Give it a try. It's a great writing exercise. Instead of writing a stogy biography, write a front page article. Have fun with it.

And if you get carried away you can join the team and write your own. Maybe buy an Obitkit. There's only one thing to remember, the Obitkit doesn't come with and that's a guarantee that your loved ones will actually use what you've written.

I'll read you later. adios

UPDATE: After posting I realized this was my 100th post on this blog. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and remember: Keep reading. It makes your brain juicy.

The Merry (or Lusty) Month of May

Tomorrow begins May! And I just want to sing! But which song? The merry merry month of May according to Stephen Foster. Or if you prefer the lusty month of May as according to Lerner and Loewe (from their musical, Camelot). I know which I prefer. Either way May is an interesting and mixed up month, and my singing would just mix it up even more.

It's a month of opposites. It starts off cool and often wet as it is right now, to end hot and steamy as the beginning of summer races in on Memorial Day. It's National Hamburger Month AND National Salad Month. It's Foster Care Month AND Older Americans Month. Maybe that explains with it's National Blood Pressure Month.

But it's also is National BBQ Month. Yum! Next to pizza it's one of my favorite foods yet my home town is seriously devoid in great BBQ. What is it about Madison, WI that great barbecue restaurants never last? Maybe I should clarify that slightly. Why is it great BBQ restaurants never last on the West Side of Madison, close to my house?

The Capital seems to be the great divide. On the East Side there is Smoky Jon's , a favorite hole in the wall, mainly carryout, near the airport. It's well worth the trip but yet I rarely make it. There are also the chains like Fat Jack's. Downtown there is Brickhouse BBQ, a chain as well and fine, not great but it's more of a campus bar. There's a Famous Dave's on Park St and it's fine too.

Here on the West Side a number of BBQ establishments have tried and all eventually failed as today there are none.

-sigh-

The Best BBQ I ever had...
was in Memphis at The Rendezvous. Amazing ribs, so tender, so moist, I can see them flaking off the bone. [Damn, I'm drooling on my new laptop!] I am told that when Bill Cosby was doing his tv show he would fly in their ribs once a week for cast and crew. That the Rolling Stones would request their ribs when performing within the area. The Rendezvous even does mail order. Packed in dry ice they are flown overnight to wherever you want, but at $99 for 2 racks of ribs I'll have to wait a bit more. Maybe when I get rich and famous I'll fly some in for a book party. I just have to sell more than a dozen copies first.

What was your favorite BBQ ever?

Beside BBQ there's a lot happening in May. Here's a few of my favorites:

1 Mother Goose Day

3 Lumpy Rug Day

4 International Tuba Day and National Candied Orange Peel Day

6 No Diet Day (here we come Gigi's Cupcakes!)

8 No Socks Day (I'll really looking forward to this day because it must be pretty wild because the next day is...)

9 Lost Sock Memorial Day 

11 Eat What You Want Day (here we come Gigi's Cupcakes!)

12 Limerick Day (dedicated to that talented Lady from Nantucket)

15 National Chocolate Chip Day (here we come Gigi's Cupcakes!)

16 National Sea Monkey Day (

20 Be a Millionaire Day

23 Lucky Penny Day (maybe that's how you get to be a millionaire?)

27 Sun Screen Day (I hear the parade is fascinating)

29 Learn About Composting Day (the jokes here are all too obvious)

31 National Macaroon Day (here we come Gigi's Cupcakes!)

Now you'd better run away because I feel like SINGING  >>>>>>

Tra la! It's May

The lusty month of May!

That lovely month when everyone goes

Blissfully astray.

Tra la! It's here!

That shocking time of year

When tons of wicked little thoughts

Merrily appear!

It's May! It's May!

That gorgeous holiday

When ev'ry maiden prays that her lad

Will be a cad!

It's mad! It's gay!

A libelous display!

Those dreary vows that ev'ryone takes,

Ev'ryone breaks.

Ev'ryone makes divine mistakes

The lusty month of May!

(from The Lusty Month of May from Camelot)

Does Watching TCM Make Me... Republican?

Everywhere we look on the Internet, everywhere we buy something with a credit or debit card, everywhere we look someone somewhere is collecting that data. In a world of electronic convenience and quick and easy payments we are being targeted more specifically than ever before. Amazon recommends items for us based on past purchases, Google provides answers to our searches that it thinks we'll be most interested in based on past searches, our phone rings with electronic messages from candidates based on past contributions.

It's all getting too much.

An article in today's New York Times, "Let the Nanotargeting Begin" http://campaignstops.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/let-the-nanotargeting-begin/?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120416, is a frightening display of just how specific this data collection has become, targeting specific groups, very specific groups that might swing more Democrat or Republican. Check out some of the charts. Many stereotypes are confirmed. But there are just as many surprises.

The first chart concerns information and entertainment. Democrats like The New York Times, MSNBC, and Comedy Central. Republicans like Fox News, the Wall Street Journal, and the Golf Channel. But it gets more interesting toward the middle. Can you guess the great unifier, the ultimate bipartisan television station? It's HGTV. I guess House Hunters International carries across the aisle.

Now let's look at it another way. Add if they vote regularly or not and the mix changes a bit. Democrats that rarely vote like to watch VH1, while big turnout voters like CNN. Republicans that stay home on election day are probably watching CMT, while steady voters like TCM. Now this just surprises me to no end. Turner Classic Movies is my favorite channel. But I'll never turn. Maybe it's because they show Atlas Shrugged or The Fountainhead?

Apart from our differences, maybe it's the similarities that surprises me the most. Democrats and Republicans alike both enjoy Cadillacs, Wendys, looking on the internet for movie listings, and the biggest surprise to me, while Democrats favor Budweiser and Republicans favor Miller Lite both prefer a nice pint of Guinness. Maybe the best thing we can do to settle things down in Washington DC is to tap a keg, send the pages out for some Wendy's burgers, and watch House Hunters International together. Maybe if we concentrate on our similarities the differences won't matter that much. Let's start with the biggest one and work up from there. Number One: We are all Americans.

Now I'm off to get another pint.


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And most importantly: Thanks for reading me!

Kurt Vonnegut is in Heaven

If there is one thing I wish you all have the opportunity todo it is to meet your idol, or at the very least see them and hear them speakin person. I'm not talking about this week's musical "phenomenon" orlast week's winner of the big game. Those people are here one day and gone thenext, only to live forever as the answer to a trivia question or in the back pagesof an out of date record book. I'm also not talking about your loved ones, yourspouse, partner, or friends. True, they can and often are heroes in your life,but you interact with them every day, you are on familiar terms,you need and expect their support.

No, I'm talking about that one person outside of your circlethat may have influenced you deep inside, that made you think about things youhadn't before, that may have shown what was bad and what was good with theworld, that may have lifted up an ideal of something you wanted to aspire to.It may have been a teacher, a coach, an author, an artist, or, yes, I can thinkof a few, a musician. Whomever they may be knowing about them and what they didfilled you with such respect and awe that you said to yourself, "I want todo that. I want to be like them."

Last summer my son, Shaun, had the opportunity to see,listen to, and even meet for a few brief moments his idol, the author TerryPratchett.It was at NADWCON 2011 and it was great fun. I've written about it earlier in this blog. I won't do it again here. Just know I will never forget Shaun's face during that weekend.


I never got to meet Kurt Vonnegut but I did hear him speak. He came to the UW campus in 2003. The lecture was free and Union Theater was filled to capacity that night. My wife, Laurie, expressed some curiosity and came along. We found seats in the balcony in the middle of hundreds of college students. I found this encouraging that not only did they know him but were reading him as well. It was in college I first discovered him as well. It was wonderful to see that same appeal in the students around us.

It was noisy in the balcony. You might have thought we were waiting to see a rock star rather than an author. Then the lights dimmed and everyone got very quiet. I held my breath, and Kurt Vonnegut walked out on stage. There he was, a man, an author, who had spoken to me through his work for over 30 years. He did exist. He was real.

He walked to the edge of the stage, looked out over the audience, and said, "Wisconsin. Huh? I thought there'd be more blondes." And he smiled.

With that single comment he won over everyone in the house that night, devotees and skeptics, even my wife. We were in for an unforgettable evening. I still have the program from that night.

In looking for pictures for this post I stumble across something magnificent. It was an article Mr Vonnegut (what do you call your hero? I can't call him just Kurt) wrote for In These Times the day after he gave that speech in Madison. It contains a partial transcript of what he said the night we saw him. Reading it over I can picture so clearly again. It is here:   http://www.vonnegutweb.com/archives/arc_nice.html

Amazing luck to find that today. Or was it luck?

Five years ago today he passed away. It bothered me a great deal then, and still does. Your heroes aren't supposed to die, they aren't supposed to be mortal just like me, they are above that. I miss his writing, his voice, his understanding, his anger. I believe reading his work, fiction and non-fiction, has made me a better writer and perhaps a better person.

In his talk in Madison he explained what it meant to be a Humanist and told us the funniest joke he knows.

"I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that functionless capacity. We Humanists try to behave well without any expectation of rewards or punishments in an afterlife. We serve as best we can the only abstraction with which we have any real familiarity, which is our community.

We had a memorial services for Isaac a few years back, and at one point I said, ''Isaac is up in Heaven now.'' It was the funniest thing I could have said to a group of Humanists. I rolled them in the aisles. It was several minutes before order could be restored. And if I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, ''Kurt is up in Heaven now.'' That’s my favorite joke."

 Kurt Vonnegut is in Heaven. It's selfish but I wish he was still here.